How To : Install Vista

The Vista Install.
  • Decide which version of Vista you want, then decide on Vista Premium because Vista Ultimate is crushingly expensive.
  • Look at the system requirements and realise that your 2 year-old PC hasn't got a good enough Graphics Card/Enough RAM to run it.
  • Get a job that pays well.
  • Work for seven months in order to get the money to buy all of that.
  • Buy a new PC with at least 2GB RAM and a top of the range graphics card. (But you'd be best off buying one with 4GB RAM, as it's pretty much guaranteed that when Microsoft releases Vista SP1, your computer won't be anywhere near powerful enough to run its v2.0 interface)
  • Buy the chosen version of Vista from your favorite computer store or online. Don't download a pirated version from www.piratesbay.com . I know you will.
  • Insert the pretty DVD and boot the machine.
  • Choose the language, time & currency format and keyboard language.
  • Click on 'Install now'.
  • Enter the product key off the DVD box (you did buy a DVD didn't you!? Oh, I know you downloaded.)
  • Accept the license agreement. Else shut the crap and go to bed.
  • Choose where to install Windows by clicking on your hard disk.
  • Wait 30 minutes (have a bath, phone a friend, girlfriend if you have, have a shave, download some movies from your i pod( oh, thats much better)).
  • Type in a user name for yourself. (Hint, nerdyspy, hallowgeek, wackyguy like user-names are strictly reserved for Linux geeks. Don't you even try them, else you will end up in a crashed system).
  • Pick a wallpaper.Not for the wall you dumb, I say for the Window.( I know it sounds funny to have wallpaper on the window.)
  • Choose whether or not you want automatic updates (It's not really a choice; Windows is going to bother you about this no matter what).
  • Choose whether you're at home, at work or in a public place (what exactly would you be doing installing Vista in a public place?!)
  • Start using your PC. 
  • If you happen to see the BSOD then you have to repeat the procedure again. (For those who dont know BSOD- Blue Screen Of Death. Its a game designed by Bill Gates when he was in His Bachelors.)
  • Wait for your PC to load.(Yes I mean it. Coz, its got a lot of load now. You have installed Vista, what more can you expect?)
  • I know the system hasn't still booted. Well when did I give the gurantee to boot your system dear dumb!?)
  • Call Microsoft when your graphics card doesn't work and find out it's because they didn't approve its driver.
  • Run the GUI in "Classic" mode since by now you're running Vista from your integrated card.
  • Buy a new graphics card.
  • Run Vista in "Basic" mode because your graphics card doesn't support glass effects.